On Sunday, November 3, 2019, Florida State Athletic Director, David Coburn, made the decision to fire head coach Willie Taggart. This decision comes just two and a half weeks after Coburn stated, seemingly out of the blue and unprovoked, that he would not hire Urban Meyer or Steve Spurrier even if Willie Taggart was hit by a bus. Well, this really made me take a step back and think about who Florida State WOULD decide to hire following this news about Taggart.
Obviously, this statement by Coburn was absurd. I don’t believe that Meyer or Spurrier were ever really eyeing this position in the first place. So I don’t really know why Coburn had to throw Taggart under the bus, literally.
With the news of Taggart getting the boot in Tallahassee, everyone in sports media has their opinions on who will be the next coach for the Florida State. I like to hold myself to a higher standard normally, but I couldn’t resist this opportunity. So here it is folks: my list of coaches that Florida State should target in their coaching search.
1. Nick Saban
The number one choice here does not come without controversy. Obviously a coach the caliber of Coach Saban is a longshot for the job. My argument? What does Florida State have to lose at this point? I mean they lost Jimbo Fisher for a younger and hotter position at Texas A&M. Then their call was to target Willie Taggart. This was their first mistake. Taggart went 7-5 with Oregon before leaving the program prior to the Las Vegas Bowl. Does that sound like a head coach that you want for your program? I don’t think so. Instead, go for a head coach with 6 National Championships under his belt.
2. Dabo Swinney
Another rather obvious choice for the Florida State coaching job. I really don’t think that this one would be that hard to pull either. Well let’s start with the obvious reasons that this makes sense. First, Dabo could leave South Carolina for the Sunshine State. This comes as a shock to no one. Not one person in this world would rather be in South Carolina rather than Florida.
A second reason is because Dabo could finally upgrade to a true blueblood program. I mean who wants Clemson to be their final destination? I’ll wait… No one? That’s what I thought.
Lastly, this gives Dabo a chance to get that much closer to HIS final destination: the State of Alabama. This is where Dabo is from, this is where Dabo will finish out his years. Being in Florida is just one step closer to this ultimate reality.
3. The Stoops Brothers
I’m talking all three of the Stoops brothers with this one. You read that right, three. I’m talking Mark, Bob, and MIKE. Bob is a coaching legend, Mark is going strong at Kentucky, and then there’s Mike. For those of you who don’t know Mike, he was a head coach at Arizona in the mid-2000s, offensive coordinator at Oklahoma under his big brother, Bob, and he is now serving the prestigious role of “Analyst” at the University of Alabama. The best way that I can describe Mike is as the Cooper Manning of the Stoops family.
Bringing this trio into the Florida panhandle is the best possible outcome for the program. Not too many schools have three co-head coaches nowadays. I say let’s bring some innovation to this program. Honestly, what could go wrong here? These three act in the same fashion as Voltron. Apart they are powerful, but together they are unstoppable.
4. Red Beaulieu
Coach Beaulieu would be a perfect fit for the Seminoles. He is relentless, a perennial winner, and he has that Green Book that has all of Coach Klein’s plays in it. This guy is a legend. And this is really perfect timing for every party involved. Beaulieu’s Cougars were dethroned by Bobby Boucher and the Mud Dogs, and the head coach honestly might be looking for a new job. So Mr. Coburn, open your eyes and make the obvious choice.
5. Mike Leach
I’ll cap this list off with a dream scenario for Florida State. Mike Leach and Florida State are a match made in heaven. I mean who am I kidding right now? This is the only choice for the Seminoles at this point.
First, Mike Leach is an actual good coach. Granted, he has struggled with his Washington State team this season. Sure, this team has underperformed to this point this season, but let’s not let this take away from the legacy of Mike Leach. This is a coach that has a winning record as a head coach, plus he’s won both divisions in the PAC-12. I don’t think that anyone will question the greatness of Mike Leach.
My second and final supporting point is that Mike Leach’s weirdness is actually normal for Florida. We’ve all seen the Florida Man headlines and we’ve all heard the Mike Leach press conferences at this point. His mascot wars could be made a reality in Florida, I’m almost certain that they have not established any laws whatsoever.
So my closing thoughts here are that Florida State cannot go wrong with any of my picks. This is my open letter to you, David Coburn. Sure, you could listen to your advisors or your boosters; but why do that when you could listen to the 23 year old podcaster/blogger?